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Rock OperaMy life is a rock opera composed by drunk people. On the plus side, the drunker they got, the more the cab driver looked like Elton John.
"Sing 'Tiny Dancer'," Henry kept saying, and the cab driver kept saying he'd do it at a red light. We must have gotten out before we hit another red light, because neither one of us remembers him singing anything.
So we got out and started walking back to the apartment when Henry's old landlady recognizes us and offers him a tissue for his nosebleed. Henry smiled and kissed both of her cheeks. I hid my face behind a newspaper so she wouldn't see my black eye.
"How have you been?" she asked.
"Still bad at painting," Henry said. "Still terrific at drinking."
Fruit"What do you know about ghosts, Mrs. Albritton?"
Mrs. Albritton was hunched over the fruit cart, poking the apricots with her index finger. "Are these ripe, Simon? Feel these and tell me if they're ripe."
Simon reached over and obligingly felt her apricots. "Put them in the bag with the bananas," he instructed. "They'll be perfect by lunch tomorrow."
"You're so good with fruit, Simon." She turned to one of the clerks stocking a nearby shelf and leaned in, as if sharing a secret. "He's so good with fruit."
The clerk smiled and said, "You're lucky to have him."
And Mrs. Albritton beamed.
Tall Tree and the SunThe Three Trees on the Sun
1. Small Tree was as tall as all of our grandfathers standing on each others shoulders.
2. Middle Tree was as tall as all of our grandmothers and grandfathers standing in the same fashion.
3. Tall Tree was much taller than both of her sisters combined. If every creature that ever lived stood on the shoulders of the creature before it, it would still not be as tall as Tall Tree.
The Three Trees Turn to Ashes
1. It took two thousand years for Small Tree to catch fire, and her ashes fell away and created the other stars.
2. It took five thousand years for Middle Tree to catch fire, and her ashes fell away and created all the small planets.
3. Because Tall Tree was much taller than her sisters, she lasted a hundred thousand years before she caught fire. When her ashes fell away, the largest tree prayed to the Sun.
Tall Tree's Prayer
1. "I witnessed the day that you took Small Tree and made her ashes the stars."
2. "I witnessed the day th
Conversations about Milk"What's today?"
"I don't know. Probably a crappy one."
Marietta obviously didn't think that warranted a response, so she shook the milk jug a few times and pretended not to hear him. "If it's the fourteenth, the milk is bad, and I wanted cereal. Is it the fourteenth? I really wanted cereal."
"Marietta, the milk doesn't magically turn to curdled goo at the stroke of midnight of the sell by date. That's why it says sell by and not drink by."
"Yeah, and you'd down it if it was a week from now and said chew by."
The American and the Moth"People who don't know moths usually don't understand," she said. "Americans, especially. They think moths are just little superstars in ugly wrapping paper. That if we're given the right tools, we can become just as good as everyone else. Plain Jane syndrome, you know? Well it doesn't work like that."
"I think you could be a star," I said.
"Well, you're an American."
I wanted to touch her shoulder, or maybe her hair.
She didn't look like the kind that invited physical contact, so I didn't.
"I was born this way," she said. "I want to die this way too. Is that so strange?"
Candlelit Beaches"He's making you set the beach on fire on a first date?"
"Well, he said he liked candlelit beaches and long walks on the the dinner." Eileen looked down at the letter in her hands and frowned. "That can't be right. Do you think that's right?"
Henry shrugged. "I don't know, but you got to respect a man willing to walk all over his dinner."
Eileen took another candle and grounded it into the sand. He handed her the lighter that they had bought at QuickMart and watched as she knelt and brought the flame to the wick.
"He's not coming, I guess," she said. Sea salt made the flame crackle with resistance. A slight breeze was already wreaking havoc on the candles planted behind them. "He's not coming, is he?"
Henry shifted from one foot to the other. "You know, if you're up for it, I always did want to step on a peanut butter sandwich."
Doughnuts"Every culture around the world has their own version of a doughnut," she said. "That doesn't change the fact that they're all just fried dough covered in sugar. Having a different name for something makes it cultural, and most people like cultural."
"You don't like cultural?" I asked.
"No," she said. "I like doughnuts."
MothToday I called her a moth.
Nobody believed me when I said I didn't mean it as an insult. Moths are disgustingly beautiful animals that you see dead more often than alive. I remember when I thought that moth was just a dead butterfly, a special sound used for ripping the life out of something colorful and bright. The word itself is scornful and thick and comes from Middle English mot, meaning maggot. In Spanish, she would be polilla, which sounds like a dance, and in German, she is Nachtfalter, which is a dance.
I think everyone assumed I meant to insult her because it is true. She is dark and plain, and her hair is fuzzed all over. She smells dusty like our attic, but it is a pleasant smell, like remembering something you've forgotten.
And she would look best covered in leaves.
How to name your band.1. Springbox
2. The Ceiling
3. Bubble Balance
4. Scalp Stuff
5. Green Bean Romance
6. Step-Mother: Reborn
7. Really Tasty
"It's my list of band names," said Ezzo. "I think everyone should keep a list of band names, just in case."
"Just in case? Just in case of what?! We can't sing or play any instruments!"
Marietta picked up the paper and ran her finger down the list. "I like Springbox a lot, actually. Why did you put The Ceiling on here?"
He shrugged. "So the people who listened to us would be Ceiling Fans."
TG Caption This: Careful what you wish for, sister
It not like I wanted to go to the meteor shower. Dante, my 'friend' who happens to also be a recent transfer student, dragged me to it. The kid had issues, trudging me outside when he knew that I didn't like big crowds or big festivals, which wasn't exactly news that he hadn't heard already. So a bunch of pieces of ice and dirt passed by the earth without blowing it up. Whoop-dee-freakin'-doo. I can hear you now, "but Hiro, these comets only go by once every thousand years! You could even make a wish on them and it could be granted!"
No, no thank you. Wishes backfire horribly. It's not like you go up to a genie and get away scot-free with every wish. There's always a catch because the universe is a huge jerkass. There's no such thing as instant gratification either, or happy endings. I decided this after the school was forced to put a huge fence around the roof of the school, and I saw it. That wasn't a cheap chain-link fence either. They even put barbed wire at th
Journal of An AdolescentMarch 18
I swore to never use this dumbass journal nana bought me but she’s dead now and I feel bad
What the hell am I even supposed to write in here
I guess I can write all the things I think but I can’t say because my friends will call me a pussy or something.
I better hide it good.
Sometimes I like to stand by the freeway and close my eyes and listen to the cars zip by. If I listen hard enough it almost sounds like the ocean. But then I open my eyes again and it’s just a Chevy with a shitty muffler.
I just read that again and I’m a pussy
I’ve come to accept my pussy ways.
It’s a shame that the city lights are too bright here and the stars don’t come out
I forgot about this journal. Oops.
Forgot about it again. Shit’s going on. Don’t have time to write down my pussy thoughts
I walked to the store today and bought bread and eggs. At what p
The Object Sensations Ep1. The case of the cookiesLightbulb was sleeping this morning. She was dreaming that she's having a giant cookie and she's ready to eat that delicious cookie. Until…
Forky: HEY LIGHTBULB!
Lightbulb: *Jumps off the bed and fall* AUGH!!
Forky: Oh,sorry! Did I wake you up?
Lightbulb: *grumpy* Yes. And you make me fall and heating myself with the head!!
Paintbrush: Hey! Why with all the grumpy face!
Lightbulb: I was feel so good when I was sleeping. I was dreaming that i'm eating a big cookie!!
Forky: And did you barf after this?
Forky: It was a joke,ok?
Lightbulb: I wish that I have all the cookies to eat!
PB: Be careful what you wish for! One day you ate some cookies from the OJ's party and then you barfed on Baseball's face!!
Forky: PB's right! But you don't need to be like this. You've got all your friends and all the things that you like!
Lightbulb: Except COOKIES,of course! But thanks.
Lightbulb went away from PB and Forky to a giant kitchen. Suddently,she founds a big jar!
The Object Sensations Ep2 Our Cheese don't smile?It's a sunny day and Paintbrush was walking while he/she is listening to all the rock musics in his/her Ipod(like PB is a rock fan), when he/she founds Cheesy with a "dark" smile (which means he's serious) sitting on a tree(The tree's shadow shows Cheesy with dark colours).
Paintbrush's trying to cheer him up.
PB: Hey Cheesy, why with all the sadness in your smile?
PB: Cheesy, are you okay okay??
Cheesy: *sigh* I just fine...please go away...
Paintbrush: C'mon!!! I'm trying to help you!!!
Cheesy: Would you shut up?Please?
PB: Geez!! Alright,alright!!!
Paintbrush went away, but he/she don't really want to let Cheesy alone.
He needs help! Then PB finds Knife reading a comic book of Looney Tunes.
Paintbrush: Knife, here you are! I need your help
Knife wasn't paying attencion, so PB take the comic book off.
PB: You know you have to listen and paying attencion to people when they're talking to you,Knife!!!
Knife: Hey!!Give my book back!!
PB: Look Knife, i don't
60 For 60: The Golden Pince-Nez“You see, but you do not observe.” —A Scandal in Bohemia
“They will make you appear distinguished!” I expostulated.
“I don’t need them!” Holmes looked down at the letter. “Expensive paper, a woman’s handwriting…”
“But what does the lady say?”
Holmes held the letter at arm’s length. After a few moments he tossed it aside and I knew I had won.
“Holmes,” I said, “you observe, but you do not see.”
SHD 103 - Assignment One
"I have turned each of you into a shadow, which shall begin the acclimation process. What I ask of you is to use this to spy on one of your fellow students. Find a secret or something interesting to report. Do bear in mind that you will not remain in the shadow form for more than twenty-four hours, so you best begin your assignment now."
When Ioren turned around, he saw nothing.
Of course there was nothing. After all, who would be wandering around in a time like this? The patrols in the dormitories start no later than ten – the hour hand on the clock tower had already passed eleven. The moon hung at the centre of a blanket of dark blue. Faint clouds hover briskly below the shining light of the stars, shielding them from anyone who looked up towards the sky. The air was calm, but no less fresh and crisp – and the silence it gave was peaceful and comfortable. It was all Ioren wanted out of this night, all he wanted outside – alone.
The howler had stuffed
Star Wars Kotor 1 wedgie fic“Bastila, Bastila where are you?” Yelled a young twi lek by the name of Mission Vao, she walked through the metal hallways of the Ebon Hawk, looking for her friend Bastila as she rounded the corner about to yell again, she saw Bastila sitting on her knees in meditation,
“Hmm I wonder ?” Mission thought to herself as she crept over to the sitting Jedi, she got closer and closer hidden by her stealth field generator, she kept creeping until she stood invisible over Bastila, who was still in meditation, mission bent over and reached for Bastila’s exposed underwear when mission felt her pants get tight and saw Bastila stood up, and turned around and look where mission was standing invisible and moved her hand in front of her and mission appeared suspended by her grey panties a foot off the ground.
“Uh I guess you heard me coming huh?” Mission asked jokingly
Bastila nodded her head a stern look on her face,
Mission squeaked when Bastila move her han
My Curtian Call
Sorry, maybe next time.
You didn’t nail the role Victoria, sorry about that but I guess there’ll be other roles for you to get
You didn’t make the cut Victoria, We’re really sorry, I mean you’ve auditioned around 30 times for this role, it’s not that you’re not talented but you just don’t have the look that we’re looking for and the fact that your accent sticks out doesn’t really help.
That was all that Victoria McGlade heard, she was a 20 year old New Zealander currently living in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, she was an actress who hadn’t been getting a lot of work, which was really infuriating her, she didn’t go through those years of acting school, all the stress, the nights staying up to 6 in the morning to finish acting papers, she hadn’t had work since Power Rangers SPD when she was 17 and now she was seriously teetering over the edge, all of her hard work was for nothing, a few bit parts here and t
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