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Today I called her a moth.
Nobody believed me when I said I didn't mean it as an insult. Moths are disgustingly beautiful animals that you see dead more often than alive. I remember when I thought that moth was just a dead butterfly, a special sound used for ripping the life out of something colorful and bright. The word itself is scornful and thick and comes from Middle English mot, meaning maggot. In Spanish, she would be polilla, which sounds like a dance, and in German, she is Nachtfalter, which is a dance.
I think everyone assumed I meant to insult her because it is true. She is dark and plain, and her hair is fuzzed all over. She smells dusty like our attic, but it is a pleasant smell, like remembering something you've forgotten.
And she would look best covered in leaves.
Nobody believed me when I said I didn't mean it as an insult. Moths are disgustingly beautiful animals that you see dead more often than alive. I remember when I thought that moth was just a dead butterfly, a special sound used for ripping the life out of something colorful and bright. The word itself is scornful and thick and comes from Middle English mot, meaning maggot. In Spanish, she would be polilla, which sounds like a dance, and in German, she is Nachtfalter, which is a dance.
I think everyone assumed I meant to insult her because it is true. She is dark and plain, and her hair is fuzzed all over. She smells dusty like our attic, but it is a pleasant smell, like remembering something you've forgotten.
And she would look best covered in leaves.
Literature
starcrossed
and we sailed
in sinking ships
on borrowed tides
'neath starless skies
[i wonder, love,
why we never made it home.]
Literature
Moth to His Flame
Their passion came with a price,
with a thorn bush
and the blood it drew.
He realized her heart would
leave scars upon his skin,
just as she knew
his love would burn her
from within; even then,
they gave each other pain.
I am drawn to you
as a
moth to your flame.
Through the still
moonless night
on wings of silk she came,
drawn forward in her flight
to her love
and his flame,
by the beat of her heart
to be
singed by its light.
Literature
napowrimo
april 1st
i just sat there
words lodged in my throat
eyes burning with tears that
i wasn't going to let escape
while you broke
into pieces i couldn't fix.
april 2nd
you gave me stained fingertips
the same colour as your belly.
i still dont know if its from
your poorly rolled mentol's
or if its the colour of
the deepest regret
i've ever felt.
april 3rd.
i tried to write this poetically.
with oceans and stars
and metaphors
so large i lose
connection.
but i can't
some things just
aren't poetic.
april 4th.
you're body was
black and blue
but oh god
there was colour.
there was colour.
and colour means life.
right?
even if its clinging on
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I haven't done a free write in a while. I had a joke that I was going to tie up with this one, but I like it better the way it is, without any comedy.
I don't really know where I'm going with this, but I really like the idea of a girl being compared to a moth. Looking up the etymology and the different languages was fun. Nachtfalter in German means something close to Night Breaker in English, and is a waltz made by Johann Strauss.
Anyways, it's sounds really choppy, and Iwould very much appreciate a critique.
I don't really know where I'm going with this, but I really like the idea of a girl being compared to a moth. Looking up the etymology and the different languages was fun. Nachtfalter in German means something close to Night Breaker in English, and is a waltz made by Johann Strauss.
Anyways, it's sounds really choppy, and Iwould very much appreciate a critique.
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Comments20
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I love the mood in this (what kind of mood is it? Honestly, I couldn't say), and the darker hint in the last sentence (it's very open-ended: he wants to see her in nature, he wants to see her buried in the middle of a forest...I like it as it is; I naturally veer towards the latter).
The sentences flow well enough to me: the choppiness of the third paragraph seems appropriate, as it's relating a bit of tension. I think you're missing an 'a' in "thought that moth" (I'd expect it in single quotes if it's supposed to be like that). You might want to complete the 'which is a dance' with 'by Johann Strauss'--or not, it reads fine either way.
As I said, I like the mood. And the idea; the comparison's definitely intriguing.
The sentences flow well enough to me: the choppiness of the third paragraph seems appropriate, as it's relating a bit of tension. I think you're missing an 'a' in "thought that moth" (I'd expect it in single quotes if it's supposed to be like that). You might want to complete the 'which is a dance' with 'by Johann Strauss'--or not, it reads fine either way.
As I said, I like the mood. And the idea; the comparison's definitely intriguing.